


In Infinite Time

by InInfiniteTime



Series: in infinite time [1]
Category: Skam - Fandom
Genre: Best Friends, BoyxBoy, Cute, Drama, Enemies, Evak - Freeform, Even having a traumatizing backstory, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Couple, ISAKxEVEN - Freeform, Isabel - Freeform, Isak Valtersen - Freeform, Isak having a best friend, M/M, Massive angst, Mental Illness, Romance, SKAM, TV Show, and, bipolar, called Martyn, car crash, even bech naesheim - Freeform, fanboy Magnus later on, probably, sana and Isak as roommates, sanasol, skam roommate AU, that i created
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-04 03:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10982205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InInfiniteTime/pseuds/InInfiniteTime
Summary: everything in this version of the skam universe, is sort of.. reversed. sana and isak are not only the best of friends, but they also live together as roommates. Because i'm apparently obsessed with Roommate AUs.Sana knows Even and they're pretty close, unlike Isak. so what happens when our queen sanasol tries to get these boys together?the pair seems they could actually work things out, but Isak's close friend, Martyn, doesn't seem to agree.Because even the closest friends have secrets.





	1. The party at Bech Naesheim's

**Author's Note:**

> hahaha. The name of my first ever fic on Ao3 is actually my usarname. That's how you know it's going to be awesome. kms.  
> what am i getting myself into? idk. i'm literally just having some fun writing this, so please don't judge it too hard lmao <3  
> ok first of all, raise your hand if you agree that Sana/Isak friendship is sommething we need to protect and charish for ourselves forever. To appreciate and support the biology buds, i made them roommates in this universe. hope you enjoy! <3

"for the nineteenth time, Sana, the answer is A!" Isak whined, rolling his eyes. Sana sighed, though she didn't look like she was willing to give up and let Isak write "the dumbest answer anyone could ever think of" as she would say. 

Even though Isak Valtersen and Sana Bakkoush were two people with completely different personalities, they still understood each other super easily, which was the reason Sana had become one of Isak's closest friends. 

Isak secretly truly admired her, though he would rather die than admit that. However, whenever he was left alone with his thoughts about how far he had come with his supportive friend, he'd quietly thank Sana in his head for.. everything.

For existing. For accepting him. For being his friend no matter how grumpy he could be at times. and for staying by his side through the thick and thin. 

the first time Isak decided to tell Sana about his sexuality, was after a year of their unbreakable friendship. To be honest he had expected everything but Sana calmly accepting him. Sure, the girl was kind and generous, but she also was a Muslim, so it took a lot of energy and preparing in front of the mirror to finally confess. The boy had stuttered out the words he had been meaning to say for the longest time with no confidence whatsoever, but Sana's reaction had been absolutely priceless. Isak had felt so incredibly lucky after hearing the "it's okay, Isak" words, and probably for the very first time, he had gained the courage to open up to someone and spill the beans.

And after everything they went through, there he was, doing the Biology homework like usual. 

"oh, Isak. Do you really want me to look up the answer? The truth will destroy you, so you'd better write what i'm telling you. It's B!" Sana insisted, shoving the pencil in his hand.

yeah, they did understand each other. But maybe not in Biology.

Being the stubborn boy he was, Isak opened his mouth to keep complaining, having at least ten arguments about why the answer was A, but the loud buzz of Sana's phone didn't let him. 

"wait a sec." shaking her head, Sana unlocked the iphone.

Isak sat there quietly, his brain partly still searching for the answer, and partly focusing on Sana, who looked pretty curious yet kind of excited.

"what is it?" Isak asked. Sana looked up from her phone and the strict girl forcing Isak to study turned into a smiling Sana withing a few seconds. 

"whaat?" Isak repeated.

"okay, sooo" Sana wasn't even paying any attention to their worksheets and the books anymore, "there's this party at Bech Naesheim's that i want you to attend. You know Even, right?"

Isak was left silent. 

Sana wasn't exactly the person madly in love with parties. She mostly attended the events hosted by their close friends, because that's when she would usually have the most fun and not feel left out. Isak would often invite her while having a good time with the boy squad. Everyone loved her and it was pretty enjoyable having her around. Though other than that, Sana wasn't a fan of returning black-out drunk from a random third year student's wild party. well, unlike the most teens at Nissen. 

So obviously the odd invitation made her look a bit suspicious. 

Isak had definitely heard of Even before. He didn't know much about him, but since Sana's desire to attend the said party seemed quite strong, he thought it wouldn't hurt to experience being at the Bech Naesheim's party. However Sana's sudden interest was still bothering him, so Isak decided to at least try figuring things out.

detective mode: on

"yeah, i've heard of Even. What about him?"

"you heard it, he's hosting an awesome party on Friday at his place. I don't know a lot of his friends but i do know him and i just got an invitation, although i thought it would be cool if you could come with me to make this whole socializing thing easier, you know?" Sana still had the mysterious smile on her lips.

Hm. Sana against socializing with strangers.

"Sana, we've been friends for what,- two years? I think we both know that you nail "the whole socializing thing" without a grumpy teen Isak helping you. Therefore, clearly, there's another reason of your unexpected offer. I mean there's no way you'd stop screaming at me because of that god damn answer if that party wasn't something important".

Sana chuckled and her dimples popped up. "It's just a nice party i'd like to attend with my friend and maybe find him a decent, cute boyfriend."

"Sana, wha-"

"I'm joking," Sana rolled her eyes, still softly smiling at him, "but trust me Isabel, you should definitely meet Even. There's a huge chance of him ending up with us in the upcoming project from the drama club, so it would be a shame if you had to get to know him on the spot, y'know?" she explained.

"woah, woah. Where is this coming from? First of all, Sana you're being super weird, second of all, the project from the drama club consists of two people working together, we didn't form any groups last class, remember? And third of all, i don't think you have an appropriate intention for going there with me. what is all of this about?" Isak exclaimed, sounding confused.

"Isak, it's just a party. Seriously, you can't sit around doing nothing all day."

"But-"

"and since you never actually listen during the classes, the teacher made an exception for me and you, because Even was left without a partner."

"And is this the reason you're dragging me to that party?"

"I'm not dragging you silly! I'm willing to get you out of the house and meet new people."

"Sana honey, what did you smoke this morning?" 

"oh my god! why do you have to be a drama queen! " she said, lightly giggling at the same time.

"Oh okay, okay whatever. I'll bring someone" said Isak.

"awesome. Be there at 7."

"I hope this really is about the damn project and you're not seriously setting me up with someone. to be exact, out future drama club project partner."

"so the answer is B, because distinctly, as our book says, Genetics is the study of genes, genetic variation and heredity in living organisms. See? Easy."

"Sana!"

While Isak was skimming through the given questions, he quickly planned to bring Martyn with him on Friday.

Martyn was Isak's good friend, though he didn't have the best relationship with Sana, so Isak was still considering his thoughts and actions. The surely was sweet and truly amiable, but for some unknown reasons, the girl constantly avoided him, stating the dumbest reasons of why she didn't want to hang out while having Martyn around. Isak didn't complain much, he was fine with having Sana and Martyn as two separate friends who didn't seem to spot on love each other. 

Though something hit him that minute, and he thought that bringing Martyn this time would be a good idea. At least he wouldn't be left without a companion the whole time. He knew Martyn closely enough to rely on him and be sure that his friend wouldn't do something foolish nor ignorant. yeah, Martyn wasn't like that.

 

***************************

Yet Martyn himself, was someone who would never miss a good party. So when he saw the message from Isak, he obviously agreed and told the boy that he'd show up on time

Isak However, decided to contemplate this as a casual thing. He wasn't so good at becoming best friends with strangers, but he could try forming a decent conversation, couldn't he? After all, it was just Even. A guy he would probably have to work with for the project. Besides, all Sana did was crack a joke about Isak finding a boyfriend, he knew she was wise enough to make an appearance at that party for an important reason.

Just. Even.

Isak couldn't quite remember how he looked, so when him and Sana finally decided to circle both, A and B, Isak took a break and stalked Even's instagram like a total shameless creep. He didn't have a lot of pictures of himself, but oh boy, something clicked in Isak's head and he fully recognized him.

Even. Oh, that Even. 

The hottie sure was loved and appreciated by the girls at Nissen, beautiful and as the rumors aid, incredibly popular, which made him seem like a flawless human being. Popularity was never a thing Isak wanted to experience, so he didn't feel jealous or swaggy for being able to attend the party. Though he couldn't help but declare the fact that Even looked charming in his pictures, which made the reality of girls fainting because of him, less surprising. Was there anything that could've made Isak doubt Even's perfection? 

He sat around thinking how weird the universe was. Isak didn't care about this boy's existence a few hours ago at all, but now he was randomly stalking his instagram and agreeing to Sana about going to his party. seeing him. 

It shouldn't have been a big deal. Sure, Isak was a little nervous and still unsure about this whole thing, but he was clever enough to trust Sana, the girl who would never suggest something that'd harm Isak or make him uncomfortable in any way. the pain he had already experienced was perfectly enough and Sana knew that.

 

He's m e n t a l l y i l l.


	2. the dramatic Fredag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isak agrees to attend the party and gains the confidence to actually get out of his house.  
> Martyn's definitely not missing out.. what kind of surprises will this party bring?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhh okay so if you ask me, this chapter came out a lot better than the previous one. I let the drama kick in, and i really hope it wasn't too quick or boring to read? idek. but yea, things are getting serious here. i still can't believe i did this to Even, but i'll forgive myself this time and will try to make it up to him, and you guys. let's go.

"Isak, honey, this is the last time i'm telling you, it's just a fucking party, not some kind of a busyness gathering! get out of the shower and put some damn clothes on!" Sana screamed from the living room, slowly losing her temper and putting on some nude lipstick to pass the sluggard time, glancing at herself in the mirror.

Isak nearly tripped, wrapping a towel around his waist and shaking his soaking wet hair.

nice.

_why was he so nervous?_

Isak sort of regretted spending literal thirty minutes on scrubbing his skin until he nearly peeled it off, because he clearly knew he was going to sweat like a pig at that party. So rubbing his now reddened skin in the shower for what seemed like forever wasn't the best idea. It was his nature, - getting too hysterical over insignificant stuff. His plan was to do the preparing on time so that he wouldn't get a heart attack in the very last minute, but then again, had his clever plans ever worked out? nope.

"coming! just give me a sec!" Isak yelled, obviously lying. He swiftly put on the cleanest shirt he could possibly find in two minutes, and nearly tripping over, he unfortunately grabbed the tightest jeans by accident. This is what he got for consuming his whole time in the shower planning almost ten ways of escaping the party just in case everything went wrong. Isak cursed under his breath, battling with his jeans which were annoyingly stuck on his still damp knees. After inadvertently shoving both of his feet into the ripped parts of his jeans and nearly making the holes even bigger, the boy somehow managed to fit himself into the black jeans without actually falling over and seriously damaging himself(even though the chances were high, to say the least), he sprayed on the deodorant quickly, fortuitously getting some in his mouth, and fully exhausted, Isak managed to literally jump out of his room while trying to tie his shoe laces at the same time.

"Isak. Seriously. Chill."

"what are you on about?" Isak exhaled, sounding breathless, "i'm the master of being chill".

"Anyways," Sana failed to hold her laughter "you still haven't told me about your friend".

"what friend?"

"The one who's coming to the party with you?"

"oh you're talking about,-"

_ring ring._

"whoop, sorry." Sana took her phone out of her purse and hinted Isak to follow her outside.

while Sana was speaking on the phone, Isak sent a quick text to Martyn, checking to see if he was still keen on coming with him. Martyn responded almost immediately, reassuring Isak that he was indeed going to be there as soon as he could, and added a selfie of himself with a thumbs up. Isak took a breath and allowed himself to calm down a little. He went after Sana, who caught a taxi and uttered the address to the driver. She was in control, and she was nailing it. Isak had actually started to think that things weren't as terrible and he could survive a simple party.

with at least fifty strangers surrounding him.

_chill, you fool._

**************

"we're here!" Sana smiled, trying not to sound overexcited, "thanks!" she handed over the money to the driver and got out of the car, dragging Isak with her.

"okay so, rule number one: Be nice, Isak. I get that grumpiness is like your religion, but try to smile yeah? we don't want our drama club project partner to hate you, considering the fact that three of us will have to meet nearly everyday for at least three weeks." Sana stated, looking completely serious.

Isak's mouth fell open. "first of all, what the hell Sana? So now we have rules and shit? Is this a party or a social skills exam created specially for me?"

"well, Issy. I'm just giving you advises. Don't behave so awfully that you won't be able to look him in the eyes for the next few weeks. " the girl spoke through her clenched teeth.

Isak rolled his eyes. Not that he would ever admit, but the girl sounded fair and right, which was kind of pissing him off, because Sana was always veracious, literally and distinctly. So to show her that everything would go perfectly fine, with sudden confidence and Adrenalin flooding though his veins, he softly knocked on the door only to be greeted by a blond girl who looked strangely similar.

"vilde, hi!" Isak greeted while Sana waved at her, smiling.

Vilde wasn't someone Isak would consider having as a fun companion throughout the party, but finding someone he actually knew felt good. It gave the boy so much more determination to attend the event and wholeheartedly have a good time without paying attention to the wasted people around him. Resisting the urge of leaving the crowded place became much easier. Isak grabbed the nearest bear can to get himself in the mood, and swallowing the first few drops, the boy almost immediately felt the alcohol kick in. Though the impulse making him excited and energetic instantly reminded him of the other time at his own party when he got insanely wasted and accidentally tripped, knocking over the dining table, therefore Isak gave himself a silent promise to stay a little sober so he could concentrate and save himself if he got in an embarrassing situation, which was something that could easily happen.

he leaned against the wall, awkwardly staring at the people around him, searching Martyn with his eyes while Sana talked to one of Even's guests, probably trying to find out where Even himself, was.

"okay, thanks. see ya!" Sana said and turned around to see Isak gazing at the crowd. "come on, let's meet Even."

Isak nodded, and he was just about to follow her when he saw a blonde head peeking through the crowd.

"Martyn!" he smiled, asking Sana to give him a minute and promising her to come back in a second.

"Told you i'd come!" Martyn grinned.

"Good, because i was starting to think that you'd betrayed me" Isak joked.

"How could i?!" Martyn said, sounding over dramatic on purpose, smiling at Isak seconds after.

"okay so i was about to meet the host. Come with me?" He offered.

"Sure." shrugging his shoulders, Martyn agreed.

The boys approached Sana, who's expression instantly changed from happy to uneasy withing seconds. That didn't really surprise Isak, since he clearly knew how much the girl despised Martyn, but through the eye contact, he silently asked the girl to chill and treat Martyn like a living human. The quiet begging couldn't apparently manage to make the anger on Sana's face disappear, but she did control herself soon enough to stop her hands from reaching Martyn's neck and choking him on the spot.

"Martyn, i think you should wait aside for a few minutes, the whole meeting is about a drama club project that we're participating in. you won't be interested in that." Sana exclaimed out of the blue, faking a smile.

"true, but i think i should meet the host. it's their house, to put it mildly. i'd like to know whose party i'm attending." Martyn stated, trying to sound reassuring yet polite.

Sana swiftly turned around so Martyn couldn't see her eyes, which she rolled so hard that it nearly hurt. The girl chose not to respond to him and waved directly towards Isak, reminding him to keep walking.

The three of them got to a huge dining table which was overflowed with food. Next to a layered chocolate cake, was standing Even.

Even Bech Naesheim.

_god he was beautiful._

Isak had to actually stop himself from running over to the boy and screaming how charming he looked right in his ear. His body and his brain were split into two completely different things, one confidently encouraging Isak to communicate and exchange flirty pick up lines with the cutie, and the other one convincing him to keep himself together and act cool. In the end, Isak happened to choose the worst option,-standing like a statue in front of the possible future crush. Fortunately, Sana sneakily elbowed him in the ribs, trying her best not to make the atmosphere awkward.

"H-Hi." Isak muttered, still staring at the perfection in front of him.

luckily, Even's face broke into a friendly smile.

"Hello! What's your name again? Isak, if i'm not mistaken?"

"yea, it's Isak. So you're the mysterious boy i'm going to be working with for the next few weeks." Isak tried.

"i sure am! disappointed?" Even chuckled.

"No! nope. not at all." Isak was losing his chill. The boy already seemed so easy to talk to. Isak got the vibe that Even would be able to save the awkwardest situations just by cracking a simple joke. He seemed cheerful and positive, it looked like he was truthfully trying to get along with Isak.

staring at his perfectly defined cheekbones, Isak didn't even notice how quickly Even's smile faded. Just when felt the uncomfortable tension in the air, he opened his mouth to ask what was up. Though until he could say anything, a familiar voice behind him interrupted.

"oh my god, Even! Hi!" Martyn uttered, going in for a hug.

Even awkwardly turned the hug into a handshake, leaving Isak astounded.

what was up with the people not liking Martyn?

throughout the first few minutes, Isak had totally considered Even as the nicest human being, but now he was just muddled, unable to say a word. Even rejecting a hug didn't seem like something the sweet boy would do. Isak was starting to slowly regret involving Martyn in this.

"Long time no see eh?" Even stated with nothing but emptiness in his voice.

_so they do know each other. awesome._

"i've been wanting to hang out with you for so long, but you just keep ignoring my calls! i guess you're still upset about my little joke."

"Martyn, don't start." Even warned.

Isak felt more than confused. He had mixed feelings in his heart. Martyn was hiding something from his past, Isak knew it. He had no idea what all of this was actually about, but the boy was sure the things were not right. Even's almost worried expression made his heart jump in a very uncomfortable way. The strange thing was that after perhaps meeting his old friend who probably disliked Martyn considering how harshly he had just rejected his hug, Martyn still seemed joyful and pretty chill. However Even didn't. Isak could sense the tensity even from afar. 

_this was not right._

"Hey, i'm just messing with you." Martyn said.

"The last time you "messed with me", Martyn, i ended up losing friends." exclaimed Even, forcing himself to relax seconds after, because the tenseness mixed with awkwardness was getting disturbing. And he had apparently realized that he was revealing too much at a very wrong time.

_what. the. fuck._

Martyn rolled his eyes. "that was a complete accident you fool. I think it's time you forget about it."

"Wanna hear my opinion?" Sana suddenly interrupted, "we were here to discuss the project from the very beginning, and you're kind of obstructing." the words felt like sharp knives cutting the air.

"yeah, whatever. You owe me a talk though." Martyn winked.

_Martyn winked. Martyn-_

"erm.." Isak cleared his throat hinting them how confused he was.

"oh, so you don't know? i thought he had told you everything. You seem to be good friends." Even muttered.

Isak's face fell.

_He didn't tell me. Didn't tell me what?_

"Anyways!" Sana exhaled, "about the project, whose house are we making the poster at?"

"i think my place is the best choice. I live alone, so there will be no one bothering us." Even suggested, shrugging his shoulders and acting like Martyn didn't exist at all.

"perfect." Sana smiled, "so tomorrow at like, 7pm after school?"

"yes"

"i'll come." Isak agreed and de-stressed.

"oh um. It was really nice to meet you, Isak. Would you mind if i steal Martyn from you for a few minutes?" Even asked, pronouncing the name loudly so that Martyn could hear.

"Sure, i guess." Isak muttered, standing next to Sana while Even and Martyn disappeared behind the doors to another room.

Isak turned around, facing Sana.

"You know everything, so spill the beans. Tell me what the fuck is up, Sana." he exclaimed furiously.

"what are you talking about?"

"oh don't play those stupid games with me. You sure are pretty mysterious sometimes, but not sneaky enough to fool me. I'm not that dumb, okay? I don't know anything, but i'm still starting to understand stuff, so i demand clear explanations. Is this misunderstanding the reason you don't like Martyn? what's the story behind rejecting the friendly hug? seriously, you either unravel this or i'm leaving." Isak argued, talking rapidly, exhaling at the end of his speech.

Sana sighed, looking around like she was unsure of something. "can we have this conversation later, please?"

"Sana, you dragged me to this party just to get to know this drama project partner. All i did was brought my friend and ended up making things awkward. Don't you thing this is urgent?"

"I think this is complicated, Isak,-"

"okay. So how much do i actually know about this fucked up situation?"

"Can't say you know a lot. It's just a tangled story that happened in the past. Do you seriously want to discuss this right now?"

_hm._

_yes, i do._

The sudden surprising news had hit Isak's head like a tornado. He wasn't even feeling that hurt anymore, all he wanted was to know how serious the case was. He felt very left out abruptly, and got an uncomfortable feeling bubbling in his stomach. Could Martyn really be guilty? Had he done something so wrong that Even apparently couldn't even stand to see him? And the worst part? Along with the boys, Sana knew it all as well.

The boy didn't get to think for very long. Him and Sana heard loud noises coming from the exact room Even and Martyn had disappeared behind a few minutes ago. It sounded like them, and the noises weren't pleasing not happy. Though no one except them seemed to care about the yelling sounds escaping the thin wooden doors, so both of them approached the room, walking fast.

"what the hell is,-"Isak started, opening the door widely.

Once the boy saw the scene in front of him, he froze on the spot unlike Sana, who rushed to the two boys fighting.

_fighting_.

So apparently they weren't just yelling at each other for some reason, But Martyn had also used his hands, and Even's noticeable bruise clearly made Isak imagine terrible stuff that could've and probably had happened while he was waiting outside the room.

this was so messed up. Isak felt like he was going to throw up.

Him and Martyn had been friends for a several years, and the boy'd been acting nothing but friendly and loyal throughout the time. Isak had never in his entire life while knowing Martyn, experienced such thing. He kind of looked up on him, convinced that Martyn would never ever hurt a living human.

oh, what an amazing dream he had been living in.

unfamiliar side of Martyn shocked him in the worst way possible. For a few seconds, Isak simply refused to believe that these few minutes could change so much. Martyn seemed so calm from the minute he saw Even, and now he was unrecognizable.

_what the hell happened in those two minutes?_

seemingly a lot.

"Even, stop!" Sana yelled before Even could give the painful punch back to Martyn. "calm down you two!"

Isak's mind went completely blank. He didn't know who to comfort, didn't know what to say nor do. He did not know.

"That's enough!" Sana screamed at the boys, her words coming out extremely aggrieved. she glanced at Even's bleeding nose and slowly turned around, facing Martyn.

"Martyn, i think you should definitely leave now." Sana said calmly. However, Isak perfectly understood that deep down that calm voice, there was a furious, irritated Sana hiding, and if Martyn wouldn't piss off quickly, he could easily get himself in a big trouble. Because Isak had witnessed Sana's anger before, and avoiding it has always been the best choice.

displeased Martyn looked like he was about to protest, but thankfully Isak managed to pull on his arm and drag the boy out of the room.

"Go home. Now. But remember Martyn, you'll explain fucking everything later on, get it?" Isak muttered in his ear, firmly holding on his arm and then harshly letting go. "I can't believe you. I just,-" He shook his head, observing a wine bottle beside him on the table, because evidently, everything in that moment seemed more interesting than Martyn's eyes staring directly at him.

"He's a bitch." was the only sentence Isak could make out until Martyn quickly turned around and nearly running, he left the place.

Sana stormed out of the room and promptly turned off the loud music. The place went quiet.

"Sad to announce that the party is over guys!" Sana announced, loudly enough for everyone to hear.

She got a few "why so early?"s and other confused exclamations, but the girl ignored them all and widely opened the doors.

people slowly started to leave the party. A few minutes passed, and the place was left fully noiseless.

"How's Even?" Isak managed to get out.

"He's in the bathroom. I'll try to clean up this mess." Sana exclaimed, picking up the bear cans.

"Want me to help?" Isak asked.

"I'm good."

The boy nodded, now approaching the bathroom. He leisurely opened the door after softly knocking. He peeked inside and saw Even staring at himself in the mirror.

"come in, i don't bite." Even somehow managed to smile, "though your friend surely does as you can see." he lightly chuckled, pointing at his bloody nose with some soft cotton stuffed in it to stop the bleeding.

_How can he possibly crack a god damn joke or even laugh at this state._

"i'm really sorry. He normally isn't like that." Isak shrugged.

Even heavily sighed, carefully touching his nose.

"Has he really changed that much?" Even muttered.

"what do you mean?"

"You've probably guessed that i know him."

"well, obviously. Since he was the one who recognized you and tried to treat you like a friend, unlike you. An old friend of yours?"

"Give me a sec. Are you seriously protecting the guy who nearly broke my nose?"

"He's my friend. And if it isn't clear enough, i have no idea what the drama between you two is about. He hasn't told me."

"exactly." Even stated.

"What do you mean by that?" Isak asked once again.

"Martyn has always been the type of guy who liked others to think he was flawless. Aspiration for perfection,-it had been in his bones. I knew that wouldn't ever change. So the fact that he hasn't told you about the thing that you're referring to as a "drama", proves that he's still the Martyn i used to know."

Isak stayed silent for a few minutes, thinking of a decent answer.

"You know, Even, i think you're trying to explain stuff to make this confusing situation understandable for me, but you're not doing a good job. there are at least a thousand questions freely floating in my head right now."

"i understand," Even comforted him with a hardly conspicuous smile, "but i don't think we're close enough to share this story. It's a long tale with some very bewildering twists."

"then at least tell me why he beat the shit out of you, Even?"

Even giggled at that. "hey, he got a few good punches as well."

"Stop avoiding the topic!"

"Okay, fine. I just asked him to leave me and my life story alone and he got pissed."

"You're so mysterious." Isak shook his head.

"And that's exactly what you like about me."

"what?"

"So tomorrow at my place at 7pm?"

Isak nodded, looking down.

"i'm looking forward to getting to know you, Isak Valtersen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ta daaam. i don't know what is this. i need opinions.  
> before the following chapter releases, i'd love to ask you readers a few questions. what do you think of Martyn? now i know a lot of you might hate him for what he did to Even, but i'm just wondering if there are any Martyn supporters, because well,,, ya never know what's gonna happen,,  
> thanks for reading! x


	3. Guilty or mistaken?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo an another chapter! this one's a bit short but shocking. I hope..

To say the least, the drive back home was a little awkward.

The party had gone from being fun to turning overly dramatic and obviously very strange. Even apologized to Isak privately which Isak returned, saying it wasn't his fault entirely. The decision to meet for the project the next day was made and immutable, and that was the exact time Isak was willing to find out the big secret. He hadn't figured out where to start and what to say, but he had his shower to think whilst scrubbing his skin roughly without paying much attention due to the messy thoughts taking possession of his head. Nothing new or special.

To be honest, at some point Isak wouldn't even care to figure out what had happened in the past if it didn't seem this serious. Seemingly the old anger still showed itself at the party, which meant that whether they wanted it or not, it still created huge misunderstandings, left Even with bruises all over his face and possibly damaged his beautiful nose. Isak wasn't okay with that. ~~Even's nose was an important feature.~~ Putting the fact that he was starting to develop a crush on him aside, Isak was more concerned about Martyn at this state.

Because friends don't usually hide things from each other, specially the serious ones.

yet Martyn did. And that was the main reason Isak wanted to reach out and catch him until he went too far. The occurred may had happened in the past, and maybe, just maybe it should've been better if Isak chose to just let it go, but secrets were still secrets. They could capture your brain, steadily eating it out until you'd find out the truth and calm the god damn mind down. The boy had experienced problems that were caused because of hidden stuff, the problems that had once made his life a thousand times harder, turned his personality into a fake mess and completely fucked everything up, so observing Martyn's actions from the previous evening, Isak was getting uncomfortable nostalgic vibes. Now that he knew that not everything was as perfect as he had thought for so long, the solid walls of their friendship were noticeably wobbling from Isak's perspective. The boy tried to think of every possible reason of why Martyn had kept such a mysterious thing away from him, but it was all worthless. 

Isak couldn't believe he had left Even's place without finding out what had caused the fight. He had definitely chickened out, although justifying himself, the boy stated that investing the situation at that moment wouldn't help a lot seeing how hurt Even was already.

Sana wasn't helping either, it looked like she was fully prepared for the upcoming tornado of questions, so the girl found every possible method of avoiding the explosion, whether it was changing the topic or making stupid excuses whenever Isak tried to get some information out of her.

The sudden distance was killing Isak. Not only because it was unusual and weird, but also it was caused by Martyn, the last person Isak would expect.

_if only he didn't send that one single text_.

When Sana's ignoring level towards the said topic reached the peak, Isak gave up trying and kept the questions to himself. 

Though tomorrow was yet to come.

* * *

 

 

> Lordag. 7pm.
> 
> "Isak i swear to god.." Sana warned, calling out for probably the thousandth time. As always.
> 
> "coming! i'm here" storming out of his room, Isak quickly grabbed the backpack on his way and swiftly approached the girl.
> 
> "how come you managed to get out of your room mr.Last minute?" Sana teased, opening the door leading to the entrance hall.

Isak jokingly rolled his eyes and lightly chuckled, making a mental note to himself not to forget the given nickname. It sounded pretty appropriate for him.

They got to Even's house in no time.

since their main focus was the project, Isak wasn't so nervous, because at this state he definitely knew what to say and do. The only thing left that was kind of bothering him, was "the conversation" he had planned to form somehow. The floating interrogations in his head were left unanswered, some of them questioning what would happen if Isak bringing up the topic made Even uncomfortable. The fears kept convincing him that he would scare Even away whilst losing every possible chance of being together with his crush and finding out Martyn's little secret. So he clung to his remaining hopes and put a student mask on.

_Let's do this_

Even quickly opened the front door and greeted the two of them with a massive smile brightening his beautiful face. Not surprisingly, he looked better than ever. Now that he wasn't dressed up at all, his plain white hoodie and cutely messed up golden locks made him resemble a prince. 

Isak nearly caught his breath in his throat. He faked the overreaction as a cough and tried to act as chill as a human who had just seen an angel could.

"Hi Even." Sana smiled.

"Halla guys. Come on in."

Once they had gathered all the essential stuff, the three of them sat down in a circle, discussing the project whilst preparing the poster. 

Making the project truly came out to be kind of fun. Instead of two hours of torture, they got along nicely. Discussing their project topic turned out to be really interesting and Isak surprisingly forgot about his struggle. The first day of their teamwork ended up being unexpectedly productive, so they were quite proud of themselves for actually paying attention to the purpose of their gathering, and not spending the whole time enjoying the pepperoni pizza Even had ordered.

Throughout their little session, they obviously spoke a lot. Three of them examined the movie in a lot of different ways which made the communicating easier and created a natural connection that really helped in forming a lovely friendship between the boys.

Even seemed real, so real. Despite the project not being personal at all, Isak felt like he was learning something new about him after hearing every new sentence. He felt comfortable just doing nothing but paying all of his attention to Even, who was full of enthusiasm, passionately reviewed the subject. He didn't want to leave.

 "oookay. I think we should leave the rest for tomorrow. I should get going, my biology homework is waiting to be done. Keen on coming with me, Isak?"

_yeaaah. About that._

_"_ i think he could stay for a few more hours, couldn't he?" Even suddenly blurted out, gazing at Isak, silently asking him if he wanted to leave or not.

"yeah, i'd love that." the only chance. "i'll come back soon, Sana."

"okay.. just don't get lost somewhere on your way home, issy." Sana teased, laughing.

"oh shut up!" Isak tried to sound annoyed, but the smile finding its way on his lips gave away everything.

Sana left and suddenly, everything went silent. 

_now, or never._

_"_ hey even?" Isak started, already unsure of what to say next.

"yeah?"

"erm.. well first of all, thanks for today. I know it was all about the project, but i actually enjoyed having you as my partner, and i had a lot of fun, let's put it like that. Apart from at least a hundred facts about the movie we were discussing, today taught me that you're a total movie nerd. i like it." He managed.

Even giggled. "i'll take that as a compliment."

Isak nodded, smiling, but mentally preparing for turning the conversation into a serious thing. 

"so Even, there has been a thing i wanted to talk about, but i couldn't bring it up while Sana was around. She has been avoiding me because of that the whole day."

Even slightly furrowed his eyebrows, looking concerned. Isak loved how fast he could go from his giggly self to the focused Even. Since he stayed quiet, Isak took that as a sign to continue. He breathed in and started.

"Only if it's not too personal, i'd like to know more about you and Martyn. Don't get me wrong, i'm not trying to be nosy and i'm definitely not jealous, but it just.. it feels so fucking terrible to know that a friend of mine that i trusted for so long has been hiding something that can't be ignored, if you ask me. I'm concerned about this, because Martyn isn't the one who likes violence. He wouldn't hurt someone for no reason. This can't be insignificant." Isak said, not sure how his speech sounded. 

Even's expression went completely blank. Isak couldn't make out a single emotion on his face until he started speaking.

"I think i could reveal some things, Isak. Well, firstly, not going to lie, i'd never expect seeing Martyn on my party. The last time we hung out before that, it ended really badly. Martyn did things that he shouldn't have done, things that personally really hurt me. I hope he has told you about his sexuality at least, because if not, the thing i'm going to tell you right now will probably come out sounding weird. So we kind of dated. And basically broke up after.. after uh, an incident."

Isak's mouth fell open. He had expected everything but this. He had expected Even blaming everything to himself, he had expected Even not wantinkg to talk about the fight at all, he had expected Martyn being the guilty one in the end.

_we dated._

Nope, Martyn hadn't told Isak about his sexuality either.

The pain and the hurt was gone, lost. The only feeling Isak was filled with was anger. Or disappointment. Or both.

The flashbacks of him wholeheartedly coming out to Martyn hit his head, reminding Isak how nervous he had felt that day. The boy had decided to reveal his biggest secret to one of his closest friends, and the reaction, their friendship after that, the acceptance, all of these things meant the world to him. After Martyn had promised him that it was all okay, Isak had gained so much trust for him. He had honestly felt like he could easily tell him the stuff he wouldn't usually disclose.

Little did he know, that Martyn probably hadn't ever felt that way.

Isak felt broken. He physically felt his heart cracking into thousand pieces. Why didn't he tell me. Why.

 

 "it just.. it feels so fucking bad when you trust someone with your life and it turns out they don't feel the same way. He hasn't told me any of those things, Even. I didn't even know he was attracted to boys as well until i heard it from his ex."

Even looked down on his hands and stayed quiet, probably giving some time to Isak to process the crazy little summary of his huge life adventure. He understood.

whether he had experienced the same or not, Even understood. And maybe that was enough to put two shattered pieces of Isak's heart together.

Because at least he wasn't completely alone.

 "If i knew he had made his way to you as well, i'd try to warn you but i guess i'm a little late." Even quietly exclaimed.

"Though you still haven't told me the main reason Even. Stop going aroud and repeating the same stuff, just spill it." Isak asked, sounding as calm as he could. 

"okay, fine. So i sort of asked Martyn to shut up and he got irritated."

"That was an excellent explanation, Even. Everything's clear now. Thanks for taking the time to share this with me." Isak rolled his eyes, sounding distinctly sarcastic.

"I promised to tell you some parts of my story Isak. So this is all you're getting for now. The rest is up to Martyn. You should definitely talk to him, you know."

"yes, but what about the incident?" Isak wasn't giving up.

"Personal. Now this sure is very personal." Even avoided Isak's eyes, looking up at the ceiling.

"You're such a tease, what the fuck!" Isak whined.

Even chuckled at that, giving Isak the opportunity to relax.

"I'm such a tease. A mysterious tease."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> loool. what am i doing to Even?  
> so how do you guys feel about Martyn now? More importantly, what do you thing "the accident" means? why did Martyn and Even broke up? i need your opinions about this.  
> i really really really really hope you enjoyed this part.  
> thanks for reading! x


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Too bad you don't have time to hang out with me anymore Isak. Though considering Even has a girlfriend, i don't think you'll be able to get in his pants that easily. just drop it and get back to being normal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Martyn basically being a crappy friend?  
> what could happen after him finding out things that were none of his business? as Isak would say at least...

"Hey. I totally understand you, Iss. Things sure are really awkward between you now that you know.. well um.. more info about his past. But you see, this is completely up to you, but i think talking to him wouldn't hurt. This probably sounds strange coming from me since i literally hate your friend," Sana coughed as a small sign of apology, "but i don't know Martyn. I only know the old relationship between him and Even, which had been, as you've probably guessed, pretty rough. Though you trusted him, so i don't know.. try to fix things? And definitely keep him out of Even." the girl said the morning after the first project gathering. 

Isak had felt relieved after his talk with Even. He had felt so free that he spilled everything to Sana in that exact evening immediately after leaving Even's place, just because he wanted to share the small amount of happiness building up in his heart. Yes, Even relied on him, otherwise he wouldn't support Isak in a such a respectful way. Isak had no idea how, but the boy had understood him somehow, he seemed to know how he felt so his help was really encouraging Isak in more that one ways. Telling her every detail from their talk, Sana listened carefully and got lost in her own thoughts not long after hearing Isak's speech. She did seem happy that the boys were getting along, - the girl even admitted being a little surprised, because Even wasn't the person who'd easily reveal everything about his messed up past to anyone, usually, he hated remembering the aspects and stayed away nearly every time someone mentioned it. That made Isak lips widen in a smile, his heart clenched but this time in a good way. Things may have been pretty fucked up between him and Martyn and there might have been so much more to discover, but Even presumably had accepted him as his friend, and in that moment, somehow that was kind of enough. Isak couldn't believe he had survived the party without making a complete fool of himself and literally scaring Even away. Cause that's what he often did while interacting with people for the first time, right? Yet Even had welcomed him along with his awkwardness, they had built up fun conversations filled with nothing but honesty, trust and interest, which made Isak change his opinions about people. In that moment of hearing Even coming clean and telling him a lot of important parts of his privacy, Isak knew that there was a huge chance waiting for him to work things out with Even. He instantly felt the connection, and maybe he was rushing things a bit, maybe he was getting himself into another dumb trouble, maybe he was terribly mistaken, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't control his brain which was reassuring him to stay as his friend till the end. And Isak was convinced, at least he wasn't planning to forget about Even after getting done with the project.

This was something very different. A weird coincidence? Fate? Luck? He didn't know and he didn't care. The only thing he needed to focus on, was taking things slowly and getting to know the guy better.

oh, nearly forgot sorting things out with Martyn.

what was happening between him and Martyn? Isak wasn't so sure. Though the urge of constantly running away from him was stuck to his head, because out of the blue, he didn't feel like talking to him again. It wasn't entirely because Martyn had acted so dumbly, to put it like that, Isak would never push him away only because of a sudden confusing situation. He was wise enough to talk things out and make Martyn understand how wrong he was. However, the boy honestly didn't know what to say. "Why did you hide all of those things from me Martyn?" "why did you beat up an innocent person at that party?" at this point, everything seemed uncomfortable. Martyn showed no intentions of contacting with his friend after the occurred whatsoever, so that obviously created more thoughts to be nervous about in Isak's already exhausted brain. Weird concepts and scenarios of him poorly failing in asking Martyn the desired question playing in his head over and over, it all felt too much. How had their friendship transferred into this mess so quickly? Now Isak truly believed in the overwhelming power sentences had had. 

Nonetheless, the boy perfectly comprehended that talking to Martyn, it had to be done some day. Even Sana, the girl who couldn't stand his friend had suggested sorting things out.

_you can do this._

 

After an hour of thinking, doubting, agreeing and disagreeing to his own thoughts, Isak decided to settle things down between the two of them through a phone call. It was the easiest option, plus he had the opportunity of getting this done without chickening out in the last minute and embarrassing himself whilst making things worse.

He found Martyn in his contacts, staring at the screen for a few more minutes like he was considering his act for the very last time. Pressing the right button, Isak exhaled, bringing the phone to his ear and mentally preparing to what was about to come. 

Minutes felt like hours, the beeping of the phone hit his brain like a ringing bell. Until he picked up.

"Hi Martyn." Isak started.

"Isak, Hi! what's up?" Martyn sounded calm, so calm, which made Isak's cheeks burn out of the unstoppable anger. How could he act chill when he definitely knew what the boy was about to ask? 

"So i think you're guessing why i'm making this phone call. I just wanted to talk about stuff.. like you hiding a shitload of secrets from me. What's that about?" 

"I don't exactly get what you mean, Isak."

_of course you don't. Asshole._

"Want me to list the stuff you've lied about? Your sexuality? The mysterious drama with Even? Will you explain this or should i start regretting every minute i spent with you for the past few years?"

"who told you all of that, Isak?"

"I'm the one asking questions here, Martyn." Isak teased, sounding tense and furious.

"Even, probably. Well at least he's the only one who knows everything. You two got along pretty well together. You're such a betrayal sometimes, Isak."

_what._

_what._

_whatwhatwhat._

"Am i the betrayal here Martyn, or am i the one feeling betrayed? You hid so many things from me for so long, and now you're trying to find every possible way to blame me! I can't believe you. I just,-"

"There are some things that should better be left unsaid, Isak."

"I fucking came out to you! Fully opened up and trusted you Martyn! Now you're not even telling me the whole story unlike Even, who in fact, revealed the parts of his life that wasn't necessary to tell! Don't be surprised if you see me as a "betrayal" now. Apparently betraying to you has a different meaning. All i'm going to be doing from now on, is being more careful while trusting people. So far, Even seems perfect, to say the least."

"Too bad you don't have time to hang out with me anymore Isak. Though considering Even has a girlfriend, i don't think you'll be able to get in his pants that easily. Just forget the god damn past and go back to being normal please. God."

  Isak was so done.

The anger hit him in the right spot. The boy's body felt like exploding. His organs were on fire, making his fists clench until his fingernails were pierced into his skin. Isak hung up without answering, nearly turned off his phone in the process, and threw it on his bed.

_How could he._

Now he was true to himself, fully understanding the struggle of not wanting to contact Martyn. Isak almost pinched himself to try and wake up from this weird dream, but then again, he clearly knew this was reality. An unbelievable reality.

Isak was walking around the apartment without saying a word, though his moves and actions clearly showed how angry he was. Shortly after the conversation, while nearly flinging the coffee cups down during washing the dishes, Isak tried to think of the ways of calming himself down. Talking to Sana felt nice but not so right in that moment. The girl thankfully chose not to overwhelm him with questions. Besides, he was full of disappointment and he wan't sure if talking to his roommate would help a lot. It was just a complicated situation, going altogether against him. He knew he wasn't ready for this, and the nailed phone call proved it even more. He was definitely going to keep a clear distance until Martyn himself, wouldn't decide to fix things between them.  This was more messed up than Isak had thought in the start. The misinterpretations and problems were exhausting his whole  being, so Isak decided not to follow his shower plans anymore, and he just gave up chasing Martyn. 

Although... There was something, or someone who could cheer him up.

* * *

"Of course, come over whenever you want. I'll have some tea and cookies prepared for you. Seems like you have a lot to say."

"thanks, Even."

* * *

Isak knew the boy wouldn't feel disturbed nor bothered. He just knew. The realness Even had in his soul was priceless, it made Isak feel at peace.

So of course he searched for help at Even's.

Isak felt comfortable with him from the very start. Spending time with Even was a blessing experience. Being with him simply turned hours into minutes, gathered at least a thousand flying butterflies in Isak's stomach and made him feel like he truly mattered. To retain him, Isak was ready to keep himself in the friendzone.

He felt a little broken, and he chose Even as the one who'd pick up the shattered pieces of him and at least try to stick them together. Isak had gone through hard times and he could definitely deal with this alone as well somehow, but he was tired. Damn tired of trying, doing and failing, so since he had someone to help him out, even though he had known him for nearly two days, the boy resolved to let himself rest for a minute. 

...whilst Even prepared snacks and his open heart for him. He was incredibly beautiful, in and out. And down. what? Isak liked his long pretty legs. 

So at some point, he was lucky. Guess some troubles bring fortune, don't they?

"Come in, Isak. You were speaking so rapidly and quickly on the phone, all i really heard was "Martyn" and "an asshole". Are you okay?" he gave him a comforting smile.

"i've been better but, um. Thanks for letting me come. You honeslty were the first person i thought i could rely on and talk to."

"I'm glad we're finding this _natural connection_ between us, Isak. Not gonna lie, i'm happy that you trust me. It's been what,- a few days since we met? I feel like i could freely have dumb conversations about the universe with you" He chuckled. "not the main point. So tell me what's up".

And he did. Isak spoke for what felt like an hour but really, he just formed a few detailed sentences in a few minutes. Even listened. He listened without interrupting. Frowning his brows or nodding, looking serious and inverted. Sometimes looking down at his hands like he was thinking of a possible reply. Though he listened all the way to the end without once looking bored.

_okay. you're perfect._

"yep. He hasn't changed that much. I'm so sorry to hear this. He's such a fucker. Isak. I'm sorry."

Isak stayed silent, now wrapped up in a blanket, holding a hot cup of tea in his hands.

"Hear me out, give yourself some time okay? Don't rush yourself like that again, thinking that you're ready when deep down, you know you aren't. I personally promise you it's gonna get better, But if i'm being honest with you, losing a friend like Martyn wouldn't traumatize me. Well i'm better off without him, if you ask me."

Isak nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"I don't want him to hurt people, but i'm not his mum. Especially you. You don't deserve him at all. I truly want you to be happy.  I know you're a good guy, Isak. Just don't let him control you, yeah? He has done that before, and from my persnal experience, i'm telling you, it's not fun."

Isak let himself to smile. Every word seemed like a pill that could cure his sadness, and it did. 

"you're a lifesaver, Even."

"oh, am i?" Even giggled. "or a personal superhero."

"a personal superhero. confirmed."

and he felt happy. Things might've still been messed up, but Isak was curled up in Even's sofa, talking about the dumbest shit his mind was surrounded with. Sana seemed to understand the situation since Isak didn't get a single text from her.

So they cancelled the project day then, and just hung out in a comfortable silence. Or talked. Even about the damn universe.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> started off with a hurt!Isak and finished it off with cute conversations and Isak feeling happy again.  
> honestly though, is this too dramatic or am i doing a good job? what are your overall thoughts so far?  
> oh. it's literally 1:5am here so i need to go to sleep before i die. Longer chapters coming up, promise! haha <3  
> Really hope you enjoyed this. Leave your thoughts, they mean the world! <3  
> thanks for reading! x


	5. i'm not in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This probably wasn't love. Or Isak was just afraid to admit it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prepare your tissues. This is not a happy chapter.

Even was such a sweetheart.

He offered Isak to stay that evening, but Isak refused, explaining the reason. Fucking biology homework.

Everything was going so fast. Stuff was changing right in front of Isak's eyes and there he was, wrapped up in Even's blanket ignoring the changes. The worst thing was Martyn's personality at that moment, which was giving Isak so many mixed feelings, though none of them were positive. Isak was still feeling like this was all a dream and his friend hadn't turned into a living devil after like three days, two sentences, and a fight. Not to be too dramatic, but the transformation was shocking. It was like a bird turning into a snake. The boy avoided any Martyn related thoughts that day, until he got back to his place where Sana was waiting for him to spill the beans. If she was being honest, the girl was a little surprised seeing Isak, who was furiously walking around the apartment looking like he was going to smash something in his hands just a few hours ago, happy and smiling. She knew Even was a great friend and a good talker, but she wouldn't expect miracles happening at his house. Good kind of miracles though. Yet she knew Isak was in a good state at that moment and remembering the occurred wouldn't exactly make him happy, the girl still offered him to discuss the happened. She made sure Isak would be able to speak without tearing up, and listened carefully the whole time.

The boy had no intentions of describing the details of their "little argument" whatsoever, so he quickly explained the case. Though he didn't miss out on calling Martyn at least a hundred ugly nicknames, showering him with curse words and anger. He was too overwhelmed. Sana understood.

she understood because recovering after being horribly betrayed by your friend who you thought was reliable and awesome, would be extremely hard. She had seen Even during his most difficult break downs. She had experienced "the Martyn effect", and it was fucking painful. Now that Isak was going through the similar agony, she had promised herself to be there for him no matter what. Sana was ready to listen, to talk and to fight. And not just because it was Isak who could get seriously affected and hurt, but also the guy she was dealing with was Martyn. Once. Fucking. Again. And Sana thought it was enough. The chances of contacting Martyn nor trying to sort things out, it had all turned into a worthless effort to the girl, and she knew Even would agree. Although Martyn and Isak had been the best of friends since forever, Sana was still very much convinced that Even knew Martyn more than he knew his own self. Not to mention Isak, who had no idea about Martyn's messed up actions and cruel purposes. No more apologies and second chances, people don't really change. The boy's recent behavior simply proved that. He was the same person he had been from the very start. And maybe he could be a pretty good actor, but even the best actors need breaks. 

Isak was brave enough to tell her about the phone call. Though what he remembered next, wasn't the best thing he'd be thinking about in that happy moment.

_he has a girlfriend._

_oh._

_oooh. completely forgot about that._

whether Martyn was lying or telling him the truth for probably the first time, it sounded very bad. Skimming through the story once again, the anxiety building up in Isak's stomach showed itself, drowning his brain in uncomfortable thoughts. He had to be lying just to make Isak jealous, right?

He shouldn't be this nervous. He shouldn't.

Isak never liked the idea of falling deeply in love. He thought that the feelings could seriously fuck with your mind, and that's probably because he had been through the problems that had forced him to feel a thousand things at the same time. Love was one of them, and if you asked Isak, it was scary. Scarier than people thought it was. He knew about the weird shit Love could make you do. The boy hated being controlled, and love could do exactly that.

"so about the girlfriend.. Did you know?" Isak asked after telling her the whole story, this time not sounding so firm.

"No.." Sana shook her head, "i wouldn't imagine Even getting a partner right after breaking up with Martyn. It was traumatizing for him because Martyn wasn't just a silly one night stand or a insignificant crush.. at least to Even. And when he left him, Even didn't even want to hear anything about getting a girlfriend."

"why did he leave him though.. As far as i know that's not the only mistake Martyn has made."

Sana caught the sneaky attempt of making her confess too much without realizing, so before answering, she quickly considered what to say and what to keep to herself and Even. "Martyn revealed too much to Even's friends, and they left him. He caught two rabbits at the same time, - stole his squad and easily broke up with him after." 

"i think i know how Even felt." Isak muttered, looking down at his hands.

"you sure are going through the similar situation, Isak. He really hurt you, so please forget about me encouraging you to give him chances. He hasn't changed, not even a bit."

Isak nodded. He was so done. At least for a while, because fixing things with Martyn felt so unreal then. Now there was a single mission left, Even's girlfriend. Was this bullshit true?

"Just ask him tomorrow, Isak. Even is not the kind of guy who'll push you away because of a simple question. Just go up to his locker and casually ask him." Sana suggested.

It took a lot of effort to convince Isak, but since he still agreed deep down, the boy quickly found out the location of Even's locker and started mentally preparing himself, because this was going to be wild. And hard, so so hard.

* * *

Okay. Isak was nervous. Like, very nervous.

The night before "the day", Isak nearly googled "how to ask ur crush about his girlfriend", because he honestly had no idea where to start. what the actual hell was he supposed to say? "hey Even, do you have a girlfriend" sounded too straightforward and overly weird, but then again, was there anything else to say? nope.

He had to play it safe and accept a role of a "good buddy", somehow managing to ask Even the desired question without making thing awkward between them. Yeah, he could definitely nail it. God.

Before approaching his locker, Isak had twenty one versions to say hello ready, though none of them sounded decently enough. 

uttering a quick goodbye to Sana and promising the girl to meet her in the cafeteria on the following break to tell her how things had gone, Isak headed towards the hall.

He saw the right locker. And stopped dead in tracks. Frozen.

Isak felt like his feet were glued to the floor. His brain along with the whole body wasn't responding, it felt like his organs stopped working in a minute. He physically felt nothing but also everything. Fire spreading through his veins and settling near his heart, blazing and pinching painfully made him nearly wince. The boy wanted to be everywhere but in front of Even's locker. He wanted the ground to split in half and swallow him in the darkness. He wanted to run away as fast as he could, but he was literally unable to move a muscle.

Even was standing beside his locker, having a short blonde haired girl pressed against it who was eagerly kissing him.

_whoop. Martyn didn't lie this time._

Out of all the dumb shit he had said, the worse thing was going to turn out being true. That's how Isak's life worked. awesome.

Even instantly felt someone watching them and awkwardly broke the kiss, glancing at Isak.

"h-hi" Isak managed to say. "Sorry i interrupted you guys."

"halla Isak! This is Sonja." Even replied.

"hey" Sonja greeted simply.

_Can i escape this, please._

"I'll see you later, Even." she smiled, planting a kiss on his lips.

_ouch. that hurt._

It did. It hurt like hell. For some reason. what a great way to find out the answer.

welp, at least he didn't have to bother asking the damn question.

"so" Even started, waiting for Isak to continue.

For real, the situation was getting rougher. What the actual hell was he supposed to say? Isak mentally slapped himself for being so confused that he couldn't form a sentence. Surely, this had to be one of the worst days of his life. Sonja looked astonishing, and judging by Even's taste, she must've been incredibly smart as well, so he didn't have a chance against her. hm.

"soo. erm. Uh. Is the next project gathering today?"

_are you fucking dumb._

_what._

_WHAT._

apparently Isak couldn't think of a clever purpose, so he stuttered out the dumbest question anyone would ever ask. Even was probably judging him internally, but if he was being honest, Isak didn't give a shit. The most important thing at that moment was Even having a girlfriend. Knowing that his attempt of working something out with his crush was completely failed, it destroyed his hopes and squeezed his heart in a weird way. How messed up could his life get?

Isak was seriously questioning himself about wanting to date Even. He should've known that he didn't stand a chance from the beginning, yet he let his heart take over and make him believe that such a flawless human being was going to like him back. That seemed too fictional, and not in just Isak's life. To say the least, he still wasn't prepared for this major attack. Even if he had been, he wouldn't picture himself getting this hurt because of a boy. He'd probably erase all of his feelings if he could without giving it a second thought. 

_wait. what feelings._

This probably wasn't love. Or Isak was just afraid to admit it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and there we goo.  
> so i'm not going to lie, i'm not 100% proud of this chapter. The worst thing is that i had to re-write a huge part of it after i accidentally deleted the whole thing, so if this sucks, i apologize. I truly feel bad aksjshsjsbxsj haha  
> Though since we got Martyn's argument out of the way, i think i can promise you better chapters from now on! The problems we have to deal with now, are Sonja, and the secret Martyn revealed to Even's friends. Let's see how Isak finds out about his .... uum. not going to spoil you.  
> time for my questions!  
> do you have any ideas about Even's secret? who do you think are the friends that left him and why? Any theories of what's coming next?  
> love you. I really hope you still enjoyed this.  
> thanks for reading x


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And believe it or not..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Halla sweeties!  
> okay phew. I've been working on this for quite a few hours, and i'm kind of proud <3 so i really really really hope you enjoy <3

The following days with the exact same routine went by, though the difference was that Isak was even lazier and had 0 motivation because of the occurred tiring stuff. He was handling the project quite decently, his only focus being the topic while being around Even, but other than that, it was all a living hell. Isak slept through nearly every class, and despite of teachers strictly telling him off and showering him with harsh warnings, Isak didn't give a single fuck. Until he got a detention. 

_why is my life like this?_

Isak was never the kind of person who got detentions after class and tried to be a bad boy, it was all the other way around. Well he wouldn't be called a great student, that's for sure, but he was surviving the year. However now, everything together had hit his exhausted mind with so much force, and Isak had no desire to keep up the work. So to judge the situation somehow fairly, the detention was sort of deserved. And very fucking annoying.

So after his maths teacher losing her temper, screaming at Isak to wake up and listen for the thousandth time, Isak found himself sitting in her class after the lesson, re-writing some stupid exercises. Nice.

The teacher herself was doing some random paperwork, perhaps filling the documents and all that boring stuff. Isak wanted to flee.

Everything was playing on his nerves at that point. The clock ticking, reminding Isak that there were still 45 minutes till the bell. The irritating scratchy noises of the teacher's pen running around on the paper. Students laughing in the hallway, certainly being way happier than Isak was in that moment. 

Lastly, the feeling of how alone he was, sitting in that stupid god damn room, completely wasting his time. 

The boy was about to start begging and stating countless reasons of why he had to dash, but just as he opened his mouth, mentally ready to argue, the door opened, filling the room with a squeaky sound. 

"Hi mrs.Berg!" 

"hey Even. Here's all the work you need to do. Just fill these papers and you're free to go." Mrs. Berg announced.

_wait. what?_

_oh, of fucking course._

That was just Isak's beautiful luck. Apparently the best time for Even to get a detention was when he was looking like a disheveled, depressed teenager, doing the stupid schoolwork. However Even himself was just incredibly pretty, his quiff styled cutely, wearing the most casual clothes that still somehow made him look like a prince. 

If he was being honest, the last thing he would expect was seeing Even there. His grades were perfect and he was known as one of the best students in Nissen, so him getting a detention didn't really make any sense. Though everyone makes mistakes, right?

"Hi Isak!" He smiled. God, he was adorable.

"Hey" He answered, trying to seem like he was actually focused on the worksheets. 

"I'll be back in a sec," The teacher suddenly exclaimed, "do not move a muscle"

Even quietly snorted, trying to hold his laughter. Isak gave him a questioning "wtf" look and nodded at the teacher.

She left.

Just when Isak thought this couldn't get any worse. Any freaking worse.

"you seem tired." Even blurted out out of the blue.

"Well i kind of am?" Isak yawned, not even trying to lie or make the situation better. what was the point anyway? 

"Isak, is this about Martyn again? Do you wanna talk?" Even uttered. Isak felt him staring but couldn't dare to look.

"It's really hard to get over something like that, Even. He said stuff that he shouldn't have. He revealed some things that should have left unsaid." He spilled and kind of regretted it. There was no going back though. At least being honest wouldn't make a major change between them, hopefully. There was literally no way things could get worse at that state, and Isak was used to telling Even everything. Besides, he was sure Even would always detect a lie through his sentences. 

"I uh. I think i understand."

"Then stop asking!" Isak exploded out of the blue, though immediately regretted it again. This was called stress. 

this was called stress, exhaustion and a bit of sadness. It surely didn't feel good. Isak was getting to the point where he couldn't even control his mouth. Every little thing made him furious, and when he realized that his lips had expressed his anger, it was too late to stop. 

Even stayed silent, because he really understood. It was a particularly hard time for Isak, and the detention hour keeping him there for what seemed like centuries, wasn't lightening up his mood either.

"I'm sorry." Isak mumbled, loud enough for Even to hear. "I'm really sorry. I know you're just trying to help but.. Look, i'll get better. Just. I need to rest."

would he though? would he get better just from sleeping and properly eating? Isak really wasn't too sure. This was the pain embedded in his heart. 

Even nodded, his gaze still landing on Isak's face. "Don't apologize. I've been through Martyn's games, and i think i had been grumpier than you." Isak felt Even smiling and stopped resisting the urge to observe his beautiful face. "wanna cancel the project meeting for today?" He suggested.

Did Isak want to cancel the only thing that was making his days a bit better? Not really.

"No, no! I'll be there."

"so um. Why exactly are you here?" Even asked, changing the topic.

"Sleeping in class." Isak rolled his eyes and Even laughed, which made Isak's lips lift up in a smile.

"I think you should get some rest today, Isak. Let's just hang out instead of doing the project today. We still have a few days ahead of us, and i'm sure Sana wouldn't mind."

Okay, this sounded nice. No, more than nice. Perfect, to say the least.

Isak could agree and later imagine he was on a cute date with Even, who in his head, was his dear boyfriend. Brain is a precious thing, isn't it? Isak mentally sighed and slapped his forehead.

Though there was literally no way he was turning around and rejecting on the wonderful offer. So of course he said yes, and the boys ended up choosing a lovely cafe together to visit later on. Or to be exact, Even chose the cafe, convincing Isak that he would love it. The boy couldn't believe the reality. The little spark of happiness that was buried deep down, somewhere in one of the corners of his heart reminded itself to Isak and spread its wings, gathering the same old butterflies in Isak's stomach, filling his body with joy again. A hope to have a good time for first time in that horrible week started finding its way up to Isak's head, and shortly after, he found himself actually looking forward to something. Now this wasn't caused because of his shower plans. Extra points for Isak!

"Are you guys done?" Mrs.Berg approached them, holding more papers and books.

Isak skimmed through his blank paper and somehow found two words written, which was the date.

"almost."

* * *

 

"I'm telling you, they have THE best coffee!" Even exclaimed, bumping his shoulder into Isak's.

"We'll see about that." Isak said defiantly, not being able to keep the straight expression on his face for long.

"Hell we will! You'll never leave that place ever again!" Even grinned.

The cafe Even was talking about was like five feet away their school. It really seemed like a lovely place to hang out. Isak admitted that the design was cozy and comfortable, the atmosphere was lively. Even the waiters seemed really nice, so in Isak's eyes, the combination of nice people and pretty decor made the cafe's reputation go up. He chose a window seat since it was his favorite place to sit at literally any cafe, and grabbed the menu, skimming through the drinks section. He quickly decided to get an Ice latte and actually smiled at the waiter, settling his bag behind his chair and glancing outside the window. They hadn't even started their little hang out plan yet, and his day was already getting better. Things that Even could do.

Even ordered his coffee as well and then fought for five minutes just because he wanted to pay. He argued until Isak finally agreed.

"Even, you really didn't have to."

"I wanted to? You're stressed and sad, and i just want to make you feel better. Relax and let's enjoy the best coffee in the whole world, yeah?" 

Isak let himself smile and thanked him. 

This meant a lot. Isak wasn't very used to people taking care of him and treating him like that, and what Even had done honestly made him happy. There were these little things that could simply make Isak joyful, let alone Even doing them for him.

They talked for what seemed like hours, but Isak was nowhere near being bored. For the past few days they've been talking about stuff that wasn't exactly connected with their project, and Isak couldn't help but feel like this kind of interaction was bringing them together as friends and strengthening their bond. Oh, um. Friendship bond. Probably.

"So you seriously did that?" Isak raised his eyebrows, mouth falling open while uncontrollably giggling.

"I indeed seriously did that." Even laughed as well, the soft smile not leaving his plump lips. How perfect.

"i can't believe you sometimes, Even." Isak exclaimed, playfully rolling his eyes.

"I know. I'm unbelievable. Or unbelievably amazing."

_Yes, you are._

"Oh, shut up!"

"Forgot my middle name? Your personal superhero?"

"Oh my god, Even. You're so cheesy!"

"Cheesy is good. In some ways.

Even's positive mood, his smile, his laughter, joy and happiness, it was all incredibly contagious. Isak truly couldn't believe how fast he could transform from his grumpy self to a happy Isak within seconds while hanging out with Even, or really, just being around him. He radiated happiness. Who wouldn't fall for his beautiful face and a brilliant personality? Isak honestly considered Sonja as the luckiest girl on the planet. She had Even as her boyfriend .To Isak, Even was a treasure that kept disappearing just when he was about to grab it in his hands, and it hurt, but he did understand that it wasn't Even's fault. He didn't owe anything to Isak, so he had every god damn right to be with Sonja. Although Isak could swear to god that the empty feeling that was burning his stomach while thinking about his fucked up love life, hurt more than a thousand knives cutting his skin. Isak wanted it all to be as simple as being on social medias. If only he had a button that he could press and unlike Even without any effort and tears given. 

"Favorite animal? favorite animal, Even? How random can you get while talking to me?" Isak laughed after hearing the strangest questions coming from Even.

"What? I love animals. I'd definitely get a dog in the future, but i don't think i'd manage taking care of it."

"why is that?"

"I'm planning to be a movie director. If i want to reach my goal, i won't be able to sit around cuddling with my dalmatians. Or pugs. Or-"

"You want to be a movie director? That's so cool Even!" Isak was truly surprised, in a good way.

"Yeah. I don't know if it works out, but i'm willing to work damn hard for it. So cheer for me Isak" Even chuckled.

"You're going to do a great job, i'm sure." Isak sipped his coffee, which in fact, really tasted delicious. He didn't catch a minute to actually focus on his drink and taste the beverage properly, because the literal sun was sitting in front of him smiling and making him feel warm and tingly inside. Who had time for drinks.

Isak was getting to know Even for real. It wasn't about the project, It wasn't about Martyn. It wasn't about the drama, it wasn't about his girlfriend.

**It was about them.**

Isak and Even. Even and Isak.

Isak had repeated at least a hundred times in his head that talking to Even was the easiest thing ever. The time they spent together had become so precious to him. Even the occasional silences that were supposed to be super awkward, were just comfortable. Even could discuss any topic, really. Even the fucking favorite animals. Isak was so amused. 

And really? He was glad he trusted Sana that night. He mentally thanked himself for forcing his feet to go out and meet Even at that party. The first impressions and glances at the said even had made everything so much more interesting, so Isak wouldn't ever rewind time if he had a chance. He wouldn't change anything. Even the fight, which helped him discover the truth about Martyn and made him realize that some people should've been deleted from his life a long time ago. Meeting Even just like that somehow made sense. Sure, maybe he'd prefer Even not walking around with a black-eye for like two following days after the fight, but even that felt right. That made him understand who Martyn really was and convinced him to change some things. 

Isak was proud. Of himself, of Sana, of Even. Those few hours with Even made him forget about the world around them. He didn't touch his phone the whole time and nearly left it there by accident. He didn't have a single thought about Sonja while being very invested in Even's endless ramblings about his favorite movies which he refereed to as the "masterpieces". He honestly couldn't remember the last time he enjoyed hanging out with someone in a cafe this much. He laughed a lot. Smiled a lot. And the reality only sank in when the cafe employees announced that it was closing.

Oh.

And Isak and Even were the only ones left there.

so snorting and giggling, they ran out of the cafe only to be greeted by darkness, the street lights being the only source of light.

"The time ran out so fast! Though topics to talk about didn't.. i have so much more to discuss with you! At this point you probably want me dead but Isak-"

"Are you kidding?" breathless Isak exclaimed, laughing at the same time, "I had so much fun, Even. I found out so many things about you, i don't think my brain's processing all of that right now! so if i can't sleep tonight, you're going to take responsibility" he joked, smiling.

Even answered with a light chuckle and suddenly wrapped his arms around his waist, bringing Isak closer and softly hugging him. 

_I know he doesn't mean it like that, but a boy can dream, right?_

"We need to hang out more. I need to show you stuff more often." Even mumbled in his ear, not letting go.

"Don't you think i know good places? Let **me** serve you for once, Even." Isak couldn't help but smile.

"Well, i don't know. You certainly don't go out, that's for sure." He snorted, failing to hold his giggle.

"Hey, stop exaggerating this!" Isak complained, though didn't manage to sound annoyed.

"I'm not though! Just watch me do a guided tour, taking you everywhere around the city." 

"Cheesy."

"i know."

Even pulled back, but his hands stayed on Isak's waist, his gaze fixed on his lips. 

_what are you doing._

The exact place were Even had his hands rested was burning in satisfaction and want. 

Even decided to stop teasing and literally crashed his lips onto Isak's. 

His heart stopped.

And It was all over, the worries were gone. Isak didn't care. He did not give a fuck. About anything anymore.

The most important thing was that Even was there, standing so close to him and kissing his damn face. Isak truly thought he had fallen asleep on the table in the cafe they were in, and this was all a dream. Although he was ready to make the most of it. He was ready to give away his everything to make this moment the most beautiful minutes of his life. He didn't have to try though, Even's lips on his were the most perfect miracle already. 

_am i dreaming?_

No, he was not. Even's hands were really on his cheeks. Even's tongue was really tracing his bottom lip. His heart was really racing like wind. He was really overwhelmed. He really responded to the kiss. And believe it or not,

**He was really falling in love.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOOM!  
> was that okay? Did you like it?  
> I kind of feel like i'm rushing things a bit, but then again, in what universe would Isak and Even wait?  
> oookay. Any theories about what's gonna happen next? Do you guys think Sonja is going to find out about Even's new love interest, or do you think he'll hide it all? Is Isak his love interest though?  
> Tell me EVERYTHING. You're thoughts and opinions. it all gives me motivation to write. yay <3  
> thanks for reading! x


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> World crashing down around him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> JIHUEGUSEG hope u enjoy!! a lot changes in this chapter. get ready for angst. like.. a lot of angst.

some things in life just don't seem real. There are moments when you do something, sleep, wake up and feel like it was all a dream.

Isak's brain could process a lot of things. Biology rules, maths exercises and his teacher's squeaky voice. But definitely not the kiss.

**the kiss.**

_oh fuck, the kiss._

yeah, Isak couldn't sleep the whole night. At around 2am he had given up trying to keep his eyes shut and his heartbeat calm, so he had just sat near his window, thinking.

because the occurred really was unexpected. Yet, that was the best unexpected thing that had made his entire life beautiful, so Isak was perfectly fine with surprises in that particular moment. 

The moment felt magical and unreal, so unreal. Isak had been thinking about it so much that he had his head loaded with his thoughts by the next morning. He remembered every single minute from that night. He remembered his heart going crazy. His heartbeat quickening so insanely that he had accepted the upcoming death for a second. He remembered the cold air hitting his cheeks but at the same time Even's warmth covering the chill and kind of making him hot all over. He just wanted to turn that five minutes into a video and press repeat until he was bored.

It was a whole new experience for him. Since he had accepted the idea of him liking boys, he knew that kissing a male would definitely feel nicer, but he didn't expect this. He didn't see the burning sparks coming, butterflies going mad in his stomach and his knees turning weak withing a few seconds into the kiss. It was just their lips touching after all, so Isak didn't think this small act could make his life change into a mess. A beautiful fucking mess.

The boy didn't know what was coming next, so he chose to wait. He didn't send a single text after the night, neither did Even. Though Isak wondered how Even would react the following day at school. He prayed to god to see the same old cheerful Even and not some embarrassed guy, unsure if he had made the right decision the night before, because Isak was certain that what Even had done was a long time coming action. The kiss just easily revealed the truth without any unnecessary words and made them comprehend that Sonja wasn't the one. That Isak needed Even. That in some other universe, they were together already. 

Although, Isak perfectly understood that the next day would be hard to survive. 

without getting any sleep for the whole 12 hours, Isak put on the best clothes he could find in two minutes, grabbed his bag along with his sandwich, and headed to Nissen. 

_why hello again._

Even and Isak barely had any classes together, so Isak knew that their "i kissed you the night before" conversation would have to wait a bit. Yeah, he'd be afraid to completely lose the interest in class because of his thoughts about the upcoming talk, but even if he didn't think about it, the flashbacks from the kiss were still distracting him anyway. when he should've at least remembered what the teachers gave him for homework, all Isak's head was surrounded with, was Even. Even and his beautiful lips.

_god damn it._

God knows how many hours passed, how many classes Isak actually attended and how many texts he sent to Sana, explaining the reason why he came at around 12am at home the night before. He promised he'd tell her everything in details later on, the boy just had to figure out what Even really felt and what he was willing to do to make them a thing. 

So he took time from one of his breaks to get to the locker room. Isak had a feeling that Even would be there somewhere. 

...hopefully without his girlfriend.

and he was right. 

With his lovely toothy smile plastered on his beautiful face, Even was standing right beside his locker, talking to some guys from his class, probably. Isak immediately started judging and re-considering his decisions, but thankfully Even saw his reddened, shy looking face peaking and instantly approached him. 

"i think we should go somewhere more private."

Even knew.

Isak nodded as Even promised to his friends that he'd catch up with them later on. 

The boys walked over to the bathroom. Even went in first, observing the whole room, looking as if he wanted to be left completely alone. With Isak.

"soo." Isak started.

"so"

"How's your girlfriend doing by the way?"

"Isak, don't be like that." Even whined.

The interesting fact was that the boy really seemed like he wanted to break up with Sonja. Each and every day, it looked like they were splitting apart and nearly forgetting the existence of the other person. It was just.. Isak didn't know what kept Even with Sonja for so long. All it would take were two or three words to end this suffering. A short explanation to make her understand that this whole relationship thing between them wasn't working out anymore. 

"why did you kiss me, Even?"

"because i really, really like you? why did you kiss back?"

Isak let out a deep sigh, rolling his eyes. "because i really, really like you as well?"

Even stayed silent, but Isak didn't miss his little smile trying to escape from Even and spread itself on his lips.

"What about Sonja?"

"i couldn't find any time to think about that. We haven't spoken the whole day." Even shrugged, looking down. "i uh. I've been busy."

"doing what?" Isak asked, trying not to sound like a concerned mother.

"I lost my pills that i had to take today."

"your pills? Even?" Isak's heart uncomfortably quickened.

"It's nothing, really. I sometimes need to take some medicine, they're for my.. for my heart, but i promise it'll get better soon. I just need to keep drinking pills for like a week. I always keep them in my locker, but they weren't there today. I searched for them fucking everywhere." Even buried his face in his hands.

"we'll find them, Even. Or we'll just buy new ones."

" **we** will?"

"whether you like it or not, i'm with you and i'm staying. we'll try to keep this private until Sonja finds out, but you know i'm not leaving your side, right? You should've told me this before." Isak exclaimed, getting closer to Even, who was now sitting on the bathroom counter.

Even reached out for him, grabbing Isak's shirt in his fist and making him walk even closer, so that Isak stood right between his legs. 

The sudden action did the usual things to Isak, opening a whole zoo of butterflies in his stomach. He didn't resist anything this time, freely sliding his hands on Even's waist.

It was going to happen again.

So Even's kiss had been meaningful and real. And it was going to happen again.

Even started kissing up Isak's neck, which was in fact, the most sensitive spot on his body. He kept his mouth firmly shut so he wouldn't let out any embarrassing sounds, but there he was, Even softly teasing his jawline with his kisses that were turning a little wet, and Isak could do nothing but throw his head back, his hands on Even's waist tightening.

Even's lips finally left Isak's neck, getting back to his mouth after so long.

This time it was different.

The best kind of different.

Isak met Even with an open mouth, failing to keep the dominance crown but the kiss still being the sweetest thing he had ever experienced. The boy lost his damn mind in those minutes, and he was sure he'd let Even do anything he wanted. He literally gifted his own self to Even, not caring how inexperienced he was in kissing. 

Isak let Even slide his tongue in his mouth, and the moment he felt it moving against his bottom lip, Isak gave up trying to stay careful. He didn't care if anyone saw them, he didn't care if Even left him the next minute, he didn't give a single fuck about anything when Even was pressed against him, kissing his damn face.

Oh, and he didn't care about the sounds he was making. 

As Even's tongue found its way to Isak's mouth, the boy was gone. He stopped controlling the moans escaping from his mouth just because he knew he couldn't prevent it at all. Besides, right after letting his mouth to slip a quiet sound of satisfaction, he felt Even tense up against him, but in a very good way, so he laughed to himself, now knowing how much Even liked the noises. 

"woah.. Okay." Even breathed.

"That was.."

"nice"

"yeah, nice."

The boys looked at each other for a minute and started laughing a second after.

"we just made out in the school bathroom, Even." Isak squeaked.

"And it was fucking amazing?" Even shrugged his shoulders, laughing.

"and it was fucking amazing." Isak laughed as well, nodding.

* * *

Isak came out completely dazed and happy. He felt like a drunk teenager and couldn't wait to spill everything to Sana and tell her the exciting news. She had been waiting to hear it all in details since the night before, so Isak was sure she was more than ready to listen and probably freak out with him from excitement. 

He couldn't imagine his life and how quickly he went from having hopeless tears streaming down his face to a happy smile on his lips and a joy filling his heart and souls. And it was all Even.

He didn't care what Sonja would do or think, his head was loaded with nothing but Even. 

And the best thing? They had the very last class together that day. 

Isak was about to burst in tears of joy. He was seriously ready to scream how amazing Even was. The boy did a little dance, approaching his locker before the class with Even to gather some books and important supplies. He honestly just grabbed whatever touched his hands first and shoved the items into his bag, spinning out of happiness and literally jumping and running on the way to his class. 

_we kissed again. Even knows what he wants._

Even was already in the classroom, waiting for him to sit next to him. He patted the space with his hand and smiled at Isak, silently asking him to sit as close as possible.

The minutes passed that usually felt like hours, but this time, it was all different. This time, Even sat right next to Isak, participating in class and sharing his interesting thoughts about the topic they were discussing. This time, Even held Isak's hand under the table where no one could see, glancing at him occasionally while caressing the back of his hand with his thumb. He gifted him these little touches throughout the whole lesson that made Isak's skin burn in want and lust. Even was truly a wizard.

Even whispered soft things in his ear, making him feel so special. He pushed him into the wonderland where Isak was happier than ever. It was so easy for Even to fill Isak with enthusiasm. At this point the boy was sure Even would be able to make him laugh and smile no matter what. His words had the power to shake his heart in warmth and joy, let alone his beautiful soft but unbelievably teasing touches.

_oh, Even._

He really was perfect, wasn't he?

usually, the length of Isak's classes would seem like centuries to the boy, but today, it was all the other way around. The last class with Even felt like five seconds. The bell rang so quickly, letting the students know they were free to go. 

The teacher said goodbye and left the class along with other students. The class emptied in a few minutes, others laughing and talking in the hall, leaving the building. Isak and Even were left completely alone in a quiet room. 

"I say we go home now and meet again for the project later?" Isak suggested.

Even didn't answer for a second, so he stopped packing his bag and turned around to look at him. Even was standing next to him, holding his own backpack.

"I couldn't find my pills."

It all hit Isak's head like a freaking tornado. His stomach growled in a weird way, filling Isak with fear in no time.

"Oh fuck. Even, are you,- can yo-"

"Though i'm completely fine, so that's okay!" Even suddenly grinned and yelled out the answer.

"Even? I think we should..-"

"It's fiiiiine, Isak. I'm fine!" Even laughed nervously, "It's gonna be okay!" His voice sounded so optimistic, but that was the thing that scared Isak the most.

"Let me just go ask someone for my medicine, so i feel even better, yeah? I'll be back in a minute!" He kept smiling, and he disappeared in a minute.

_what the fuck._

Before Isak could realize what was happening, Even was gone. Isak stood in the middle of the classroom, completely alone and so fucking confused. He didn't understand where Even was willing to get his pills. He didn't get why his voice sounded to god damn happy and optimistic when both of them were to act seriously and get him to a hospital if it got too bad. Even's weird behavior scared him more then the pills missing for a second. He felt small again, not knowing what to do in that very exact minute. 

Isak mentally slapped himself and ran after Even, calling his name.

Of course life wouldn't let him enjoy his happiness. Obviously something very messed up had to kick in and ruin Isak over and over. The worst thing was that he had no idea what was happening this time. No fucking idea why Even was running down to ask someone for his pills, apparently. Isak understood that he had to be fast enough to stop Even from doing anything stupid, though his whole body was shaking and he just wanted it all to stop. He wanted Even to turn around and tell him it was all a massive prank and laugh, but instead the boy was nowhere to be seen. The day felt like a nice dream turning into a nightmare, and if Isak was being honest, it kind of described his whole life. It reminded him of the moments he'd tried to grab something that made him feel at ease, and then lose it again, over and over. He was just tired of fighting, especially when the Martyn drama was still somewhere sat in the deep corner of his brain, peaking and eventually making Isak remember every messed up thing that had happened throughout that week.

He ran down the stairs as fast as he possibly could, barely breathing the moment he got down. He looked around, trying to spot Even somewhere outside the school, and called his name a few times. His heart was about to explode and his eyelids were about to fall out. Isak was ready to let himself give up, but it was Even. It was Even in trouble. So he forced himself to scurry around the building, searching everywhere.

until he saw Even.

The boy was running freely and carelessly right in the middle of the road.

_right in the middle of the fucking road._

_what are you doing. what are you doing. what are you-_

"Even!" Isak yelled. "Even come back!" He screamed again, dashing towards him.

"I'm okay Isak! I'll just find my pills here and come back! The packaging is white with black text on it!" Even yelled back, smiling.

smiling.

This wasn't normal. Isak's brain was completely blurred and messed up. Thousand things were happening at once, and the boy couldn't think of an idea of how to process them all. Isak felt like everything around him moved in a slow motion, but he didn't even have a minute to think about what the actual heck was wrong with Even, when he seemed completely fine a few minutes ago. Isak had experienced a lot of things, but seeing the guy he liked insanely right in the middle of the road smiling and not making literally any sense while talking was one of the most traumatically scary things, Isak was sure.

He exhaled, running towards Even to get him to a safe place rather than the road. Isak's heart was beating like crazy. Not only his hands, but his whole body was shaking as if he was about to faint. He actually felt the pain somewhere near his chest. Isak was just trying to stop his tears from spilling, because like every other hard time, he was ought to settle things down calmly this time as well. He had to bring out his superpowers that consisted of him being able to save himself and surmount the difficult situations.

He was about to ran in the middle to literally drag Even with him when the world suddenly stopped.

with the final source of energy he had left, Isak screamed out his name in fear. His body stopped himself onto a spot.

It all happened so quickly.

A car hit Even. 

Isak screamed, Even didn't. Guess he didn't even have enough time to react. 

Isak brought his shaking hands to his mouth, running towards Even, who was now lying on the ground, blood splashed around him, painting the road.

People started gathering around them, the loud noises of Ambulance were ringing in Isak's ears. Some people were telling him to get off Even, some of them were asking him if he was okay. Isak didn't respond, he just screamed, yelled, cried, grabbed. clinging on Even, Isak got some of his blood on his hands and clothes, but instead of letting him go, he clutched even tighter. His heart stopped, but he was alive. 

"Even!! Even!!" was the only words he could say or think of. 

Even didn't answer though. And Isak wanted to end his existence right then and there.

If only he had focused on the pills rather than spending his time making out with Even in that cursed bathroom. If only he had found out the names of his medicine and bought them until it was too late. If only he had paid more attention. If only. If only. If only.

It was all his fault again. Isak felt stupid, so fucking stupid. At first with Martyn, he got betrayed. And now it was his turn to make mistakes.

And Isak knew this wasn't Even's heart. He knew that hear conditions and illnesses didn't fuck with your brain like that.

He wanted to cry, so he did. He stayed, hugging Even until someone didn't force him to get up, so that the doctors would be able to take Even to the hospital.

"Please, Even!" Isak cried out in pain, "Please be okay.. **oh, fuck!** " he cursed, not being able to see properly since his eyes were filled with tears.

all it took. All it fucking took were a few pills. Even got in a car accident. 

* * *

Sana was crying when Isak got home.

The doctors had asked the boy to leave Even for a bit and visit him the fay after, and even though Isak had resisted, arguing to follow them, he still ended up going back home.

"You heard." He whispered, voice cracking.

Sana just nodded, turning around to hide her face.

"let's not talk about it right now." her voice was filled with pain, and Isak could nearly sense the agony and picture her face in his head. so he just went in the kitchen without saying anything. The boy was sure if he continued talking, tears would come back, wetting his cheeks once again. His eyes were already hurting, so all he needed was some rest. The boy's brain was turned off like a machine without batteries, his body was disheveled and broken. Even if he tried getting any new information, he'd fail and cry again, so for the first time in a while, Isak decided to wait for any news and take care of himself. 

He got ready for a hot shower to clean his bloody hands and hopefully send away his scary thoughts that were making him weak and fragile. The pain would stay for a long time, but at least he'd try to stay god damn alive. 

He had bought some new shower supplies and he still kept them in his bag, so he headed to the chair where the black bag was put and opened it. 

_oh wait._

it wasn't his. 

It looked pretty similar to Isak's. He noticed the little quote on the end of the bag, which helped him to find out that the backpack wasn't his.

it was Sana's.

and on the top of the items, there was a small white box.

**with a black text written over it.**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wooo and that's it for this chapter. did i leave you traumatized? hahaha  
> tell me your opinions. What do you think happened to Even? More importantly, why are the pills in Sana's bag? Did you like this chapter overall, or should i improve/change some stuff?  
> i love you all for leaving such an amazing comments. it makes my day to hear your thoughts and opinions. Your theories are the reason i'm still writing! thanks for reading, angels! x


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he's fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a little short but i hope you enjoy! <3

there are some things that your brain refuses to believe.

sometimes a great day can easily turn into a nightmare that you can't escape. Just in a few minutes.

Isak just wanted to erase his memory and bury himself in his soft cushions. He wanted to be able to rewind time so he'd never meet Even and be left like this, devastated and so heartbroken. 

He had experienced a lot scary things in his life. He had seen his own mother suffer when his dad had left them completely alone, he had survived the "Martyn drama" relatively, he had lost and gained new friends throughout these 17 years, but he was sure he had never found himself shaking and crying so much because of any of that resistances. He had always been so strong, fighting with his demons and solving his problems without someone's help, but now he was just crushed and disheveled, not knowing what to do or what to feel to say the least.

He had never thought he'd be so broken because of someone in his life. He'd never really imagined himself crying, screaming and feeling physically or mentally dead because of a boy. He'd always thought he'd be stronger than that as well, but looking at his tortured, tired self in the mirror, Isak was starting to think differently. 

He did shower that night, but all the hot water slithering down his skin did, was clean the blood on his body, it didn't erase all the flashbacks and memories from the occurred, which were not letting the poor boy sleep, at all. His insomnia was terrible already, and now this?

problems were infinite.

Isak wanted to leave the room and visit Even, but the doctors had warned him to stay home and wait, they had said it would be better for everyone including Even. Like they'd informed Isak, the boy wouldn't have been able to see Even for the next few hours anyway, so there was literally no point in following them to the hospital. That was the only reason why Isak decided to trust them and do what apparently was better for Even. He just wanted him to be alive and fine, and he was sure if he could, he'd give away everything to pause that god damn second where Even got hit, and save him, even if there was a chance of him getting seriously hurt. Although life wasn't youtube, so Isak could to nothing but wait. Wait for these long ass hours to pass, so he'd be free to visit Even and hug the shit out of him.

...or not.

_stop it._

Even though all he wanted to do was sleep till the next morning, he knew it was necessary to figure things out with Sana, because what he had found in her backpack accidentally before going in to shower, was so not okay. He lifted himself off the bed and mentally slapped himself to wake up and function.

"Sana, can we talk?"

"Is it important to talk now?" Sana responded, her voice shaking.

"It's an emergency."

Sana turned around, her brows furrowed, expression weak but concerned and serious. The girl's eyes were red and puffy, and for the first time in forever, she looked completely exhausted, spent, scared, powerless. She looked like.. Isak.

"I assume you know about Even and he was what i wanted to talk about." Isak started, trying not to fall and break out into tears.

"yeah?" Sana's voice came out like a whisper.

"something.. something's wrong with him" Isak took a breath to continue. "i think he's mentally ill. Thanks actually the reason he's in.. in hospital." Isak bit back a sob and felt his eyes fill with tears.

"I know, Isak. I thought he had already told you. He's bipolar." Sana said quietly, her sentence nearly turning into a sob. "It's no use in hiding it anymore."

Isak nodded, exhaling and getting himself ready for what was coming next. He had to somehow calmly ask her about the pills and how the fuck they'd gotten in her bag. He knew all of this would have a logical explanation, because Sana wasn't a liar, she had proved that enough. 

"I know what being a bipolar is from Magnus' mother. In spite of her illness, she's one of the most caring and beautiful humans i've ever seen."

Sana nodded. "Bipolar can't change your personality, Isak. It just stains some parts of the blank paper, to put it metaphorically, you know? You have this manic episodes when you feel so excited and ambitious that is gets too much. You go out, do something insane and regret it later, which is followed by depression."

Isak's heart melted in the most uncomfortable way.

so this was what Even had to go through for so many years. And despite this painful stain in his life, Even was still him. Still cheerful. Still happy. Still smiling. Still helping others.

Isak wanted to collapse on the ground and cry. Even was the least person who deserved this shit. 

"so anyways," he started before he'd turn into a sobbing mess "his manic episode today was caused by him losing his pills and not being able to medicate."

"so my guesses were right." Sana exhaled, burying her face in her hands. 

"But the most important thing is that.. i actually found the pills.." Isak said with a shaky voice. Though his voice wasn't the only thing shaking in that moment.

It was raining cats and dogs outside. It was like the nature had accepted the occurred and decided to match the weather with Isak's mood. At least the sky itself as on Isak's side, crying with him and spreading out the emotions the boy was hiding. 

"we'd better give them to his mother then." Sana exclaimed.

"Sana?"

"yeah?"

"what were the pills doing in your backpack?" Isak spilled, and breathing became difficult.

A few minutes passed, and Sana was stood there, frozen on the spot, her eyes opened wide and mouth firmly shut. 

"what the?-"

"i accidentally found them in your bag while i was looking for my shower supplies. Did you take the pills?" Isak asked straight up. He didn't want to go around the question anymore, nor did Sana. She always liked settling stuff quickly and without too many pointless sentences and words. Though now she looked tongue-tied and confused, so confused. 

"show me."

"huh?"

"show me where you found them." Sana sounded tense and very serious.

"right there, in your backpack." Isak replied, pointing at the black bag."

Sana nearly ran off to her bag, opening it up and nearly tearing it in the process. The pills were still there, on top of her items, inside the backpack. She gasped seeing the boxes, her palm covering her mouth with a shocked expression on her already scared face.

"what the fuck.." Sana's muttered in disbelief, her voice cracking and hands visibly shaking. "Isak.."

"Just say it okay? come clean. Was this you?" 

"Are you,- what- are you out of your mind?" Sana said through her clenched teeth.

"what do you,-"

"Do you seriously think that i'd steal one of my closest friend's medicine? Why the fuck would i ever need to do that Isak?"

"They were in your bag and i-"

"So what? I haven't touched these since i last came home with this backpack. I didn't know they were here!" Sana's eyes were now filled with burning tears as well, and she was hurting. She was hurting because yes, it wasn't any of her fault apparently, but something deep down in her heart still stubbornly blamed her. 

_you could've checked the bag one more time._

_You could've called Even to let him know about the pills._

_you could have could have could have could have could hav-_

For what seem like a minute Isak watched as Sana wiped her tears and put the medicine on a little table beside her. Before he could speak, she interrupted.

"I wouldn't ever. I wouldn't do that to him, Isak, and you know it. I'm thinking that someone sneaked into the locker room and put all of those boxes in my bag." 

Isak just stayed silent for a minute, thinking.

It wasn't her. He knew it wasn't her.

Isak had met a lot of disgusting people who he had thought were amazing, including Martyn, but Sana had always been different.

She had the courage to reveal so much private information to Isak and actually discuss stuff that was very important to the boy. If Isak was being honest, he had known Sana better that Martyn from the very start, and that's because she wasn't afraid of telling him too much, in her eyes, Isak was definitely someone she could trust and rely on, so after her having so many facts from her entire backstory revealed, Isak thought he had no rights to leave her now and deign the friend as a liar.

_i believe you._

"Okay. Sana, It's okay." He hugged the girl who was, probably for the very first time, sobbing in front of Isak without holding back.

Now this was called fear.

Isak let his eyes get wet again and his tense body to relax.

they were allowed to cry.

Because the truth was the most scary thing Isak's brain had ever thought about in that moment,-Even could slip and leave this universe if something went wrong. Isak just sat, hugging Sana and grasping on his last pieces of hope. He needed to be strong,- And yet it was so hard to sit without being able to help, or just do _anything_ to save the boy he admired so much. All he really wanted to see was Even's eyes opened and his big old smile plastered on his beautiful face. Why did the world have to crash everything around him? Isak had no idea, and this exact minute was the minute he hated the world for trying to take away Even. Trying to take away Even,- the most lovely, amazing angel, who had survived so much stalemates and issues, his bipolar being one of them. Yes, he didn't deserve any of this mess.

"who the,-" Sana sniffed, letting out a sob "i mean why the fuck would anyone," She cried "anyone do that" 

"Shhhhh." Isak caressed he back, rocking back and forth while hugging her tightly "At least we both know it's not you okay? I can't believe i nearly tricked myself into thinking that you'd stolen the pills. I'm so sorry Sana."

Sana stood up out of the blue, wiping her eyes once more and plastering a serious look on her face.

"You know what? Even is going to be fine" She started, sounding furious suddenly. "He's going to get better and **I however, am** going to find that fucker who stole his pills  **and** put them in my fucking bag trying to blame me." She said calmly but with so much anger escaping her lips, fists clenched so tightly that her nails were digging into her skin. 

hours passed and Isak didn't sleep a bit. Experiencing the fear of losing your loved one turned out to be the worst kind of fear. He was waiting for literally anything to dash to the hospital and see how Even was doing.

_ring ring._

Isak and Sana both reached out for the phone at the same time, knowing what the phone call would be about at 3am, but as soon as Sana noticed the desperate look on Isak, she just hopefully smiled, trying to be encouraging, and let Isak answer the phone. She always understood stuff without Isak having to talk too much, bicker and explain, and that was one of the reasons he loved her so much. 

"Hello?"

"Is this Isak?"

"yes. Yes. How's Even?"

"He had a several surgeries, but i assume he's going to be fine. He's sleeping at the moment, but the visiting hours will start in the early morning. So just letting you know that there's a change of the full recovery and you can see him tomorrow."

"okay. Okay, oh my god. Thank you. Goodbye." Isak said, trying not to scream out of happiness and hung up.

"what is it?" Sana asked.

_holy fuck._

_holy fuck, he's okay._

"Even's fine. He's fine. Sana he's fine."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAND this was it. again im sorry for how short this chapter was.  
> leave your thoughts, because they literally make my day. Your comments really give me motivation to continue writing. hehe <3  
> soo. who do you think put the pills into Sana's bag and more importantly, why?  
> leave comments letting me know eeevvvrything<3  
> thanks for reading! x


	9. I love you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE it's Even's pov this time!

B I P O L A R.

The first time Even heard of this illness was when he was seventeen years old. And he found out about it in the worst way possible. Through a manic episode.

Who would've thought this angelic boy would be diagnosed with such a cruel illness? Who would've thought that Even, Even who smiled at strangers, always helped his mom out at work, gave kids lollipops for no reason, would be sacrificed like this? At some point, Even's life turned into a nightmare and all it took was one doctor appointment and a fucking episode that drove his parents crazy. Even couldn't help but think about how much he had disappointed and scared them. He'd felt so unmotivated. He'd felt like all the work he had put into building his future through these years had become pointless. which of course was a lie, and the cruel thoughts never leaving his head, were cause by a thing worse than the scariest nightmares ever, which was called depression. After his first manic episode, sitting in the doctor's office seemed so surreal. Even felt like he was dreaming, or to be exact, he felt like he was stuck in a weird, scary dream that he couldn't escape. He wanted to pinch himself and open his eyes, just wake up in his room and find out that it was all a part of his imagination. The worried looks on his parents' faces, his doctor explaining stuff that was related to his illness, the hospital, the tests, it was all a blur. Even was sat in a chair in front of the doctor the day they got the results. He was sat there, pretending to listen when his thoughts were far, far away. He knew everything he needed to know, - apparently he was fucking crazy, and he didn't really want to hear the details of his mental problems. Just hearing those words that broke his heart and burnt down the walls of hopes and dreams, that revealed the secret that was hiding in Even's body for so long, was completely enough, maybe even too much.

He had hurt a lot of loved ones whether he wanted it or not, and now Isak was his Bipolar's main target. He wanted to stop it and at least leave Isak alone so the boy wouldn't be left broken and hurt because of him, but he knew he couldn't. Controlling his illness wasn't unrealistic, but the medication couldn't stop it forever. So Even kind of saw it coming before he actually realized that he had to do something to save himself and Isak, but then the pills got lost and at the same time, he lost himself. Even was disappointed, not just of himself, but he was disappointed of the way the universe treated him. He had gotten something that he deserved, he had it caught in his hands, but then the world thought that no, it was too much happiness for Even and took it away without doubts or second thoughts. The reality sank in Even's fairy tale and took Isak away. The reality of him being Bipolar hit the boy mentally just like the car hit Even physically, but what Isak felt at that time, was much more painful than his bruises and the broken leg, in Even's opinion at least. And to be honest, he didn't even care about the pills at that point, he knew he was going to find the bitch who'd decided to ruin his life, but at his state, the only thing he wanted to do was to see Isak. Though to see the old Isak who would probably accept him no matter what. Who would probably love him no matter his illness, previous relationships, friends or just life in general.

he was laying on his hospital bed and hoping to see the angel Isak he knew. Or fuck everything, he was hoping to see Isak.

"your friend is coming to see you, Mr.Bech Naesheim." The nurse smiled at him.

_yes._

That's when Even's heart nearly burst into a thousand pieces, but this time from joy and happiness. So even If Isak was angry, furious or scared, he was still coming to see Even and that already meant something. That already meant so damn much.

He waited for at least twenty minutes until he heard someone open the door to his room. He instantly looked towards the door and saw him.

_him._

Isak looked breathtakingly beautiful. He looked so stunning that Even nearly thought that Isak's whole body was shining like the actual sun. He surely seemed exhausted, but that didn't stop him from looking like a prince.

"Even." Isak's voice sounded a bit shaky. He closed the door behind him and slowly approached Even, sitting down at the edge of his bed but then getting a little bit closer to reach his hand to hold Even's. The boy was so careful. He looked him in the eyes to silently ask Even if it was okay to hold his hand. Even just shot him a smile, giving him a tiny nod. The boy slid his fingers into Even's and he felt the warmth pouring in his veins from Isak's sweet touch. It had been just a few hours, but Even missed him so damn much.

"You're okay."

"i'm okay."

"I was so worried." Isak suddenly sniffed and his beautiful, tired eyes became watery again. "I thought, i,-"

"Isak, hey" Even tried to sit up and cupped Isak's cheek, "i'm fine. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."  
  


seeing Isak cry was probably the most difficult thing to witness. The boy looked so broken and afraid, disheveled and just exhausted. Even wanted to make it go away. He wanted to bring his happy Isak back. So he just hugged him. He hugged him because so far that was the only thing he could do without fucking everything up. Because that was the only thing he could do to let Isak know he wasn't leaving, wasn't going anywhere. The boy immediately hugged back, drowning Even in his love and wrapping his arms around him softly. Isak was treating Even like he was made of glass.

_this boy._

Isak left soft kisses on Even's neck and pulled back.

"Soo."

"so."

"Isak if you,-"

"Listen, Even."

_Here we go.  I'm ready._

_or i'm not._

"I did some research about Bipolar and.. I think i'm fully aware of what it's like"

"yea."

"Even, whatever happens, you're not getting rid of me. I'm staying, here with you, forever, and we're battling this together. Sana and i are going to do anything to find out who messed with you and took the pills. Apparently some bitch from the school tried to fool us by taking the pills and putting them right into Sana's bag, but it wasn't her. Though whoever did that, i promise i'm going to find them and,-"

Even kissed him.

He crashed his lips onto Isak's and forgot everything. 

He accepted his bipolar. and that meant that he accepted every part of Even. That meant that Isak wasn't with him just for his looks, just for his pretty face and golden locks, but he was there with Even because of him. Even couldn't believe that people like him existed, hell, he couldn't believe that Isak was real. He had never thought he'd meet someone who'd love him for who he was. He'd never thought someone would stay with him, ready to fight even after finding our how ugly his illness could get. it felt like for once the world had decided to have mercy on him and give him someone he could trust, someone who wouldn't run away and betray him.

The kiss was soft and tender but it said everything Even needed to express. It was just a kiss, but at the same time, It thanked Isak, praised him, letting him know how kind he was, it gave promises that Even wasn't going to forget. It comforted Isak, calmed him. Made his heart happy, and shared the joy even was experiencing. 

"Isak, thank you. Thank y,-"

Now It was Isak's turn to make the other shut up. He started from kissing Even's plump lips and soon switched to his neck, pleasing him with sweet kisses and biting very carefully here and there. Even just closed his eyes and slid his hands into isak's hair to keep his head on his jawline, silently letting him know how much he was enjoying the sensation  caused by his incredible lips working their way down Even's collarbones. He felt like he was on the top of the world, he forgot the pain in his chest that was slowly disappearing and soon would be completely gone. To be exact, he forgot every problem or an issue and focused on the boy in front of him. Focused on his crazy feelings, his beating heart and Isak's soft pecks. 

"I Love you.." Even exhaled, trying not to moan and drive others crazy, "so much." 

"Love you more."

"impossible."

"can't wait till you recover fully. We're going to fu,-"

"Mr.Bech Naesheim?"

_fuck._

_fuckfuckfuckfu,-_

"there's another visitor."

* * *

"I'm so glad you're okay."

"Thanks, Sana." Even smiled. "It was great talking to you properly."

"yeah, it was! Do you have to get in a fucking car crash to have a long conversation with me? we need to hang out more!" she joked.

"That's true. We're definitely going out somewhere as soon as i recover."

"i don't think we'll be able to go out as soon as you recover."

"huh?"

"Since you and Isak are going to be fu,-"

"Sana!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was kinda short but i hope you enjoyed!  
> Baby Even is oookay.  
> now there's only one thing left to find out.

**Author's Note:**

> and there we go. idk what this is. tell me your opinions. you can obviously be 100% honest with me. tell me what you like and dislike. talk to me about stuff i should improve and the parts you actually enjoyed(if there were any. lol)  
> alt er love.


End file.
